3 secrets to finding TRUE love: When to know it’s God’s love versus Hollywood’s love

Do you believe you can encounter your true love today?

Let me just start off by saying that I completely understand if you don’t believe me. I get it, there are many different avenues that promise or give false hope on finding love like psychics, Reddit threads or the power of self-manifestation. And with Valentine’s Day around the corner, finding that “love” sounds like a dream come true. But what if I told you true love is already near you?

If you’re reading this, most likely you’re at a stage in life where you’ve become overly obsessed about the idea of finding true love. Or you’re just tired of waiting and want to take matters into your own hands (we’ll get to the practical steps towards the end). Then there’s a few of you who have been hurt by someone undeserving and just want to make sure that mistake isn’t repeated. I know from my own experiences of unworthy men that have come and gone into my life that hurt me deeply. Which steered my life into bitterness, hate and what ultimately led to an identity crisis. All those elements took root in my heart, and I no longer knew how to love. My entire understanding of what love was supposed to be and look like was misconstrued. And I went down a spiraling path of uncertainty in myself, God and men.

So, if you’re still interested in finding true love, I think it’s important to first define our terms.  

What is love supposed to be and what is love supposed to look like. We will be analyzing both from two different perspectives: God’s love and the Hollywood’s love.

Hollywood’s point of view about love tells us to put our needs and our desires first. It tells us “To follow our heart,” “be true to ourselves,” “live our truth,” and finally “be independent.” Sayings like these at first glance don’t seem harmful but in fact that ideology landed me exactly in the dark pit I was in. I was alone, bitter and picked up many scars along the way. My heart and mind closed for business to love, and I wanted no part in it. And unfortunately, a few women will get stuck there and never move on. I was that woman, until l encountered my truest love, Jesus.

Hang, in there, just bear with me for a few more sentences. I’m going to give you what you want. 🙂 But I want to go back to the list of mantras that Hollywood shoves down our throats regarding finding true love. Because if we were to put them side by side with the Word, we actually are to “Pick up our cross and follow HIM,” because “whoever wants to be His disciple, must first deny themselves,” and  believe that “He is the truth” so we should “do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than ourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.”

Alright here we go, this is how the title wraps into all of this. I promised you a true love encounter, didn’t I? It wasn’t until I met Christ that I understood what love unquestionably was. Love was not me meeting a man and defying social classes for the sake of our love or signing up for a dating show and falling in love with a stranger, nor was it countless frogs I needed to kiss until I found the right one.

No, encountering true love requires one thing first, to believe. Believe that Christ loves you and me just as we are. Covered in our flaws, mistakes and failures, He just wants to love us and have a relationship with us in our mess. Therefore, He has set the ultimate standard of how we, as women should be loved.

In case you need proof that this is true:

“But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ—by grace you have been saved.” Ephesians 2:4-6

“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.” John 3:16

“We love because he first loved us.” 1 John 4:19  

“And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans 8:31-39

AND there are hundreds more scriptures that reveal Gods ultimate and truest form of love. True love has always been near you. Theres no preparation, no beauty routines involved, no workshop to attend to, nor crystals, oils, or manifestations involved. This is pure unadulterated love.

I’m sure you’ve heard “hurt people hurt people.” That’s why our understanding of true love shouldn’t be on men, who are flawless and will undoubtedly let us down. Instead, our desire to be loved should be fixed on Jesus. And once we re-align ourselves with Christ, looking for love here on earth becomes much less of looming desire but an additional blessing. His word says, ^“But seek first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things WILL be added unto you,” Matthew 6:33.

• HOWEVER, I cannot be any clearer, God NEVER promised you a happily ever after. In fact, he promises the opposite, “In this world you will have tribulation,” yet immediately after, “but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world,” John 16:33. Remember that Hollywood has conditioned us to believe that finding our soulmate equates happiness and that’s simply not true.  

The only way to finding true love is WITH Christ. Only then can we apply love in a more sincere and meaningful way.

Here are three ways to better assess if you’re applying Hollywood love or Christ love

Now let’s work on three practical steps to remind ourselves of the truth

(these work best if you print them out to have them at moments reach).

That’s it guys, Christ is the only way to finding the greatest love. Don’t let the enemy tempt you with ugly feelings and doubts about yourself. But stand firm in your faith, God is good, and He gives good gifts to all those who ask Him. Be patient and wait but above everything, put loving Him first.